The diary of Butter

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Here I isssss.

Here I isssss. All 19 feet and 200 pounds of me.

Albino reticulated python Butter guest blogs on ZooHoo!.

Dear Diary,

Today I sssaw another one of thossse ssstrange little creaturesss without any ssscales on itsss body. They walk upright too, which never made sssense to me when it’s much easier to ssslither. Anyway we had ourssselves one heck of a ssstaring contessst. I won (naturally). I could’ve gone on much longer, but hisss mother came along to take him to sssee some of my neighborsss.

After that, I had sssome of my favorite food: mice. As alwaysss, they were deliciousss. The keepersss of the food know jussst how I like ‘em and a girl’sss got to eat right? You don’t get to be thisss beautiful by eating kale or any of that other green junk. I’m no cheater either like thossse other sssnakes with their fancy venom. I work for my meal by hugging it to death!

I'm ssssmooth like butter.

I’m ssssmooth like butter.

I prefer to play it sssmooth. Could that be why they call me “Butter”? Because I’m sssmooth like butter? That hasss to be one reassson. Although it could alssso be a reference to the coloration of my ssscales. I jussst look so deliciousssly awesome. The perentie monitor might think he’s so cool because he lives in the firssst zoo to successfully reproduce his ssspecies, but everyone knowsss who the real ssstar is here (hint: it’sss me).

Tomorrow I plan on breaking my ssstaring contessst record with another worthy opponent as well as eat a few dozen mice again.

 

Warmessst regardsss,

Butter

Categories: Reptiles and Amphibians | Tags: , , | 1 Comment

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